Why Small Groups May Be the Wave of the Future: Getting Real
The state motto of North Carolina is Esse quam videri
– “To be rather than to seem.” In our image conscious world, seeming often displaces reality, especially in politics and the media. This is true all too regularly in the church, as well. In fact, the way we “do” church contributes to the charade. We like to put on our best faces, even if we just argued with our spouses, declare that we are “fine,” even if our world is tattered and torn, and maintain whatever is our preferred relational distancing, when we attend church meetings. The larger the church, the easier this is to do.
We can get lost in a sea of anonymity, where no one knows us, or we them, where we wonder if everyone else feels lonely, too, all the while thinking that we are experiencing “church” the way God intends.
That is not how Jesus related to his disciples. We find out all sorts of interesting things about those first followers of Christ in the gospels – their pettiness, their lack of understanding at times, their breakthroughs, their jealousies and infighting, their passion for the Lord, their fears and insecurities, and their victories, all being related to us as part of their journey toward faith and commitment. All of these things surface because they were in relationship with Jesus and one another. They actually got to know one another, the good, the bad, and the ugly. They were unafraid to be real, to trust, to try, to fail, and to succeed. Could this be what the Lord intends for church?
Think about it. We usually put our “best foot forward” in an effort to be accepted and loved, fearing that if people really knew us, they would not like what they see. What kind of relationship can be experienced by people who relate to false images of other people? It’s like going to a masquerade ball. I am sure you have heard people say, “You’re not the person I thought you were.” That might be true of most everyone in some churches! We can only love real people; so, if someone is hiding, how will we ever get to love them?
Small groups provide a perfect opportunity for getting real relationally, where real love can grow.
In our small group gatherings at LifeNet, after sharing a meal together when we catch up on one another’s lives, we discuss the scriptures. Instead of merely listening to a teacher, we interact in an environment where it’s okay not to know everything. We try to find out what people understand of God’s truth, what they are really thinking and feeling, what are their fears, their doubts, their worries, their hopes, their joys, and their sorrows. A small group environment encourages transparency and reality, but does not force it. We can be just as anonymous in a small group as in a large auditorium, but it takes more effort.
Most of us don’t want to be embarrassed or exposed in some way, which makes us want to recede into the background, but that hinders personal growth and robs the rest of the group of the benefit of our questions, our struggle to understand and put truth into practice, and our insights. Each week our leaders put a lot of time into crafting insights coupled with questions to help people grow in their knowledge, understanding, and application of biblical truth. It never fails, however, during the group interaction that the various people present come up with things we would never have gotten by ourselves.
We all need one another, and when we remain hidden and quiet, it makes us poorer as a whole.
As a teacher, the way that I find out how well I understand something is when I try to share it with someone else. It is all too easy to listen to a message, agree mentally with what we have heard, and think we “have it.” Most of the time we forget what the sermon was about by the time we get home anyway. We cannot assume that when we teach the Bible everyone understands what we intended for them to get from our message. All it takes are a few well crafted questions to expose how lame this thinking is. Just because someone smiles and nods in agreement does not mean he or she even has a clue as to what we are trying to communicate.
Small groups that interact with the scriptures reveal what people really know and think, helping us who lead to focus our teaching appropriately.
People grow best when they can talk about things enough to gain understanding.
If they have been sitting in churches that provide no avenue for give and take, they likely need an enormous amount of remediation. Many of our people cannot even share the gospel in a most basic way beyond telling others to ask Jesus into their hearts. They cannot accurately describe justification, redemption, sanctification, reconciliation, or glorification. Maybe you’re thinking you fall into that category yourself! In other words, they are very fuzzy about biblical truth. That is not good.
If our responsibility is to equip disciples, not just preach sermons, small groups provide an excellent way to get it done.
Come join us!
We welcome you to be part of our community!
