Trying to Better Understand a Word Called Love
We just heard a sermon on love from my son, Clark Beck. It stimulated me to think more deeply about the subject. Here are some of my thoughts as I try to better understand what is probably the most important word in the Bible.
1 John 4:8 tells us that “God is love.” In other words, love is defined and personified by God himself. Love does not define God. God defines love.
Everything we need to know about love can be discovered by getting to know God better.
Probably the most recognized Bible verse is John 3:16, which we often see on our TV screens when someone in the crowd displays a poster with that verse at a sports event. It tells us that God so loved the world that he gave his Son.
Love is known by its generosity.
God gave to us what was and is most precious to him – his only Son. It is one thing to be generous to those who appreciate the gift, but God did this for his enemies, those who were often indifferent or downright hostile!
When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. 7 Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. 8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. 9 And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. 10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. 11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. Romans 5:6-11 (NLT)
Love is other-centered and sacrificial in its generosity.
Love is willing to expend itself for the sake of others, even when it is not completely understood or appreciated.
Love opens its heart to the beloved.
The opposite of love is what the Bible calls hardness of heart. When we hate, carry a grudge, improperly judge, or are indifferent toward another person or persons, we cannot properly love. Love opens the heart to give to and receive from another person. When we close our hearts, we no longer can receive or give.
In the Greek language there were three types of love: eros, philos, and agape. Eros is romantic or sexual in nature as is experienced between lovers. It is narrow in scope and deep in intensity. Romantic love focuses on one person and returns amazing dividends. Philos is what we call brotherly love. Its scope extends to family and friends. It is non-sexual or romantic and very much other-centered. The Bible encourages brotherly love among members of the church. (Romans 12:10) Agape love is the deepest kind of love and it extends to the broadest group of people, even our enemies. This is the kind of love God showed in John 3:16. It is so other-centered that Jesus was willing to actually die for those who hated him!
Love expends itself for others.
Real love does not hold back. It does not reserve its best for itself. It is not afraid of being rejected. Paul gave a masterful definition of love in his letter to the church in Corinth, Greece.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)
We can break down this passage under two headings – self-centeredness vs. concern for others.
| Self-Centeredness | Concern for Others |
| impatience – critical attitude toward others’ faults and weaknesses | patience – acceptance of others’ faults and weaknesses |
| mean, irritable, and rude | kind and considerate |
| jealous – wanting the best for ourselves | wanting the best for others |
| boastful and arrogant | humble and affirming of others |
| rude | considerate |
| rejoices in personal victories | rejoices in the truth |
| gives up on people | always believes for the best |
| turns against people | is always faithful |
| is wishy-washy | always perseveres |
Lots of people show this kind of practical love to others, especially those who are dear to them, such as family and friends. When a rich young ruler (Matthew 19:16-22) came to Jesus asking how he could have eternal life, Jesus told him to show love to his neighbor. He claimed that he already had been successful at doing that. Jesus then challenged him to something more – to love God with all his heart and to show it by giving away his great wealth! This he was unwilling to do. It is one thing to love other people and sometimes quite another thing to love God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind, which is the greatest commandment.
And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’
Mark 12:30 (NLT)
Why was this so hard for the rich young ruler? Why is it so difficult for us? It all comes down to who or what we trust in the most. It all comes down to what we treasure.
What we treasure is what we truly love.
This young man trusted in his material wealth more than he trusted in God. In other words, he loved money more than God. That sounds harsh, but it is the truth. He indeed loved God, but he put limitations on that love. When God’s Son challenged him to love God more than his wealth, it exposed his idolatry. This is why many of us are deep down afraid of God. We are afraid he might demand something extraordinary from us, too.
Our hearts are not always completely open to God because we do not fully trust him. Ouch.
This all began in the Garden of Eden when the serpent convinced Eve that God was not completely trustworthy. Ever since she and Adam disobeyed God, mankind has been afflicted by a mistrust of our Creator-Redeemer-Sustainer. This is patently ridiculous. We could not exist for one second without his lovingly upholding us. We owe our very existence to him. He already showed us how much he loves us when he sent his Son to die for us. Why on earth, then, do we find it difficult to fully trust and expend ourselves for him? Could it be that we do not yet trust or love him as we should?
I believe that our greatest challenge going forward is growing in our love for God.
I believe that the more we love God, the more we will love others automatically. Love for God will overflow in a greater love in our marriages, our families, to our friends, our neighbors, and even to our enemies.
The more we love God, the more we will become like him.
Love focuses on the beloved, and when we focus on God, we become like him.
But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NKJV)
Love for God is expressed in our worship. It is shown in our spending time with him in his presence, waiting upon him, listening for his voice, and sharing with him our thoughts, concerns, and needs. This is called prayer. Love for God is revealed when we treasure his words in the Bible and spend time reading, thinking about them, and putting them into practice with God’s help.
Love is as love does. Jesus wants us to show our love in practical ways to those around us – spouses, family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and even our enemies.
If we become “good” at this, I believe it will turn our worlds upside down in the best possible way.
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